Deerly Beloved

[chambermusicandtenpins]

deerlyBeloved: DumbleDaddy Feeling hot for teacher? Need some magic in your life? Just have a thing for men in three-piece suits? Send an owl to this handsome local wizard and let him cast a spell on you.

( Albus Dumbledore | 46 | M | wouldn't you like to know )

Comments

[chambermusicandtenpins]

I'd say distraction, since we are talking about this now instead of forgiveness for old ills.

[He can still smell the dried flowers if he thinks about them. For months after Gellert had left, he would find them still marking pages in his books, and it would break his heart every time.]

[followorperish]

Forgiveness is slow to form - if it forms at all. But we both know you have abstained since it all happened. I could give you one night's sound sleep.

[Now that the idea is nagging at him, he will do what it takes to see it done.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

[Albus flushes red again at that, but this time a worm of bitterness twists his mouth into a wry look.]

Don't be presumptuous. It isn't as flattering as you'd hope it would be.

[About Albus' history or about bedding him or both, he doesn't say.]

[followorperish]

Don't be defensive and the truth is rarely flattering.

[Except for this once, though the way Gellert phrases his flirtations, it sounds like he is ready to treat what they have...had...cheaply.]

Which part am I mistaken on?

[chambermusicandtenpins]

[And the cheapness bothers him, more than he can even admit to himself. The idea of just being used as something to satisfy an urge rankles him, and it leaves him with that ever-nagging thought that perhaps he'd been mistaken when he was younger, that the love he'd thought Gellert felt was nothing more than a lie.]

I have no desire to be some notch on your belt. Go somewhere else if that's your aim.

[followorperish]

How many notches do you think I have? [Gellert frowns, though there is a faint spark of tired amusement in his eyes. Is this Albus's way of being jealous?]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

I have no idea. It hasn't been any of my business for quite some time. [Because you left, Gellert and he's definitely NOT JEALOUS]

[followorperish]

What if I told you you have been my only?

[Ohhhh take that.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

[Wait wut.]

What?

[followorperish]

That isn't an answer. [Is he toying with him? It's hard to tell.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

[Goddammit Gellert.]

I'd ask you if you were jesting. Are you jesting?

[followorperish]

No. [Perhaps he isn't teasing him. Gellert is looking awfully solemn.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

[...that...genuinely surprises him. He'd thought Gellert must be jesting, but it seems he was wrong.]

Why?

[followorperish]

Why would I abstain? [He snorts softly, his lips twitching.] Why do you think?

[chambermusicandtenpins]

I don't know.

[He doesn't. The answer lurks in the back of his thoughts, but he can't find it in himself to believe it.]

[followorperish]

I will give you some time to think about it. The answer is entirely unsurprising.

[In his view, at least. But Albus doesn't know - he can't guess - how deep and twisted his feelings have become.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Unsurprising to you, maybe.

[He doesn't -- he doesn't want to say out loud what he thinks Gellert's implying, because there is some fear that he'll simply be mocked for it, that it'll still all be a jest, that once again their old feelings will be flung in his face. And yet -- and yet that seems to be what Gellert is saying, isn't it.]

[followorperish]

It shouldn't be a shock to you either.

[Though with how things stand between them, it likely is a huge shock. But Gellert has his pride and he won't say it outright only to have Albus wound him.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Shouldn't it? You've made it quite clear you have plans to have me killed, Gellert.

[And it is a shock, if its sincere. But there is still a great deal of him that refuses to believe it, that won't let him be hurt again if Gellert is lying.]

[followorperish]

Why would I care so much about your existence? Have you asked yourself that?

[He is perfectly able and willing to ignore anyone that doesn't matter to him - or that bores him.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Because I can beat you.

[He doesn't even say it as a boast. Albus sounds too drained for that. It's just a plain statement of fact, something they both know is true.]

I can beat you, and that's why you want Credence to kill me.

[followorperish]

Must it always devolve into violence between us?

[The fatigue is shared to some degree and Gellert purses his lips, shaking his head.]

What if it must be him because it cannot be me? What would restrain me?

[chambermusicandtenpins]

You are the one who wants violence, Gellert. When have I ever laid hands on any friends of yours? How many of mine have died so far?

[He is tired, so tired, but it all comes back to the same things -- the war, the bad blood between them, the things they do not say even as they grow so very obvious between them.]

Nothing, I imagine. Nothing except whatever Credence decides, whatever you can't convince him away from.

[followorperish]

Only because I haven't given you a chance and you are not nearly as bloody as I am.

[Gellert is the spear, Albus is the pure warrior. This all makes sense to him.]

The original decision had nothing to do with him.

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Exactly my point, Gellert.

[After all, at the end of the day, it comes down to the fact that Albus will not kill nearly so readily. Their goals may be different, but their methods are the greater problem.]

And yet, at the end, the decision is still his. While the vial exists, you can't strike me down.