Deerly Beloved

[chambermusicandtenpins]

deerlyBeloved: DumbleDaddy Feeling hot for teacher? Need some magic in your life? Just have a thing for men in three-piece suits? Send an owl to this handsome local wizard and let him cast a spell on you.

( Albus Dumbledore | 46 | M | wouldn't you like to know )

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[followorperish]

Why would I abstain? [He snorts softly, his lips twitching.] Why do you think?

[chambermusicandtenpins]

I don't know.

[He doesn't. The answer lurks in the back of his thoughts, but he can't find it in himself to believe it.]

[followorperish]

I will give you some time to think about it. The answer is entirely unsurprising.

[In his view, at least. But Albus doesn't know - he can't guess - how deep and twisted his feelings have become.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Unsurprising to you, maybe.

[He doesn't -- he doesn't want to say out loud what he thinks Gellert's implying, because there is some fear that he'll simply be mocked for it, that it'll still all be a jest, that once again their old feelings will be flung in his face. And yet -- and yet that seems to be what Gellert is saying, isn't it.]

[followorperish]

It shouldn't be a shock to you either.

[Though with how things stand between them, it likely is a huge shock. But Gellert has his pride and he won't say it outright only to have Albus wound him.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Shouldn't it? You've made it quite clear you have plans to have me killed, Gellert.

[And it is a shock, if its sincere. But there is still a great deal of him that refuses to believe it, that won't let him be hurt again if Gellert is lying.]

[followorperish]

Why would I care so much about your existence? Have you asked yourself that?

[He is perfectly able and willing to ignore anyone that doesn't matter to him - or that bores him.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Because I can beat you.

[He doesn't even say it as a boast. Albus sounds too drained for that. It's just a plain statement of fact, something they both know is true.]

I can beat you, and that's why you want Credence to kill me.

[followorperish]

Must it always devolve into violence between us?

[The fatigue is shared to some degree and Gellert purses his lips, shaking his head.]

What if it must be him because it cannot be me? What would restrain me?

[chambermusicandtenpins]

You are the one who wants violence, Gellert. When have I ever laid hands on any friends of yours? How many of mine have died so far?

[He is tired, so tired, but it all comes back to the same things -- the war, the bad blood between them, the things they do not say even as they grow so very obvious between them.]

Nothing, I imagine. Nothing except whatever Credence decides, whatever you can't convince him away from.

[followorperish]

Only because I haven't given you a chance and you are not nearly as bloody as I am.

[Gellert is the spear, Albus is the pure warrior. This all makes sense to him.]

The original decision had nothing to do with him.

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Exactly my point, Gellert.

[After all, at the end of the day, it comes down to the fact that Albus will not kill nearly so readily. Their goals may be different, but their methods are the greater problem.]

And yet, at the end, the decision is still his. While the vial exists, you can't strike me down.

[followorperish]

And I thought I made it clear: I don't want to be the one to kill you.

[He isn't cowardly, so there must be another reason beyond the vial.]

[chambermusicandtenpins]

And yet it must happen according to your plans. If you felt otherwise, you'd have let my sister devour me.

So you are at an impasse if Credence refuses you.

[followorperish]

Not here, darling, not here. In this town, you will live.

[He snorts and shrugs his shoulders.]

The visions haven't altered.

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Will I? You can't guarantee that, and neither can I.

[And some part of him is deeply curious how Gellert will react if something happens to him, whether or not it is in their control.]

Perhaps not, and yet you wish to change them all the same. I know what you have seen of the upcoming war.

[followorperish]

I can guarantee it with all of the breath in my body and the strength of my limbs. Eventually I might be able to guarantee it with magic too.

[Oh he'll panic.]

That must not be.

[chambermusicandtenpins]

[Wearing a wistful, bittersweet smile, he says:]

You know that may not be enough. Not here. Why worry so much about keeping me alive?

[Oh, Gellert, you are in a difficult place and situation for this.]

I don't disagree. But it may not be up to us.

[followorperish]

I'm not worried. It is simply something I desire.

[Getting into the specifics is uncomfortable and he shifts, smoothing out his coat.]

Do not give them more power than they deserve.

[chambermusicandtenpins]

Then why desire it?

[After all, even wanting Albus alive at all raises questions.]

'Deserve' has nothing to do with it. If that is what happens, then it happens.

[followorperish]

This place would be a terrible bore without you.

[Yeah that isn't the reason. He is evading with a charming smirk.]

Why would it happen? The dead stay dead.

[chambermusicandtenpins]

I see. How silly of me to wonder.

[Albus can tell. He's not sure how to feel about that.]

You'd have to kill them all, by that logic. Is that your end goal?

[followorperish]

It is silly. You know the answer.

[Even if said answer seems ridiculously unlikely.]

Death...isn't a goal. I seek freedom and anyone who stands in the way must face me.

[chambermusicandtenpins]

And yet I wonder all the same.

[Because even if it's true, it's...a lot to consider, and he's not sure how to feel.]

So you would kill them all simply as a means, then.

[followorperish]

I want you to live because you cannot defy me and you are mine.

[He glances away and sighs.]

Why do you value everyone over me?